Face It

Seventy two year old actress, Jane Fonda, wrote on her blog after her last round of plastic surgery, “I got tired of not looking like how I feel”. She went on to admit, “I wish I’d been brave enough not to do anything.” Just a couple of years ago, Fonda had sworn off doing more plastic surgery after having several rounds earlier in her life. But clearly her resolve wore down and, as she calls it, she reentered the race toward appearing younger than she is, full speed ahead. She called it “Jowels Away!”
Doesn’t it make you wonder if the only solution women have to dealing with looking older is one that makes a woman feel she has failed? Failed herself? Failed her peers? Failed in some larger cultural and political way? Can women ‘update’ their looks without feeling so self critical, like they gave in or gave up? Or are there alternative solutions, perhaps internal ones, that can lead to a better result? Many women want to look the way we feel, especially if we feel strong, healthy and productive. We need to comes to terms with how to achieve this internal/external harmony. Whether you turn to cosmetic solutions or not, to reach this goal requires internal work. It requires letting go of an old self image that is rigidly connected to youth, one that has no flexibility to change. It’s what the sixth step in our book Face it is all about. Once that work is done, how you care for youself doesn’t have to feel like a failure. You can be comfortable with the choices you make about your looks as you age, if you make clear and thoughtful ones based on resolving the complicated feelings we all have about the topic. — Dr. Vivian