Tell us what you think about women using botox and other cosmetic procedures?

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Category: Question of the Week 36 comments »

36 Responses to “Tell us what you think about women using botox and other cosmetic procedures?”

  1. Tina

    I wish women were less competitive with each other and more supportive. Maybe then we could all age gracefully together instead of trying to look prettier (i.e., younger) than others in your age group.

  2. Dr. Vivian

    There are a lot of women who feel the way you do. We all have to speak up and actively support one another in order to change the way women feel compelled to deal with their aging looks. It’s one of the reasons we started this blog. Thanks for your comment and spread the word. Dr. Vivian

  3. Marty

    About Botox-as a medical professional, I have serious concerns about using such an incredibly dangerous toxin for cosmetic use. Now, to paralyze muscles for people who have tremors that won’t stop, that’s a different story. There HAS to be a better way to beauty than using a “poison”!
    As for surgical and non-surgical options for improving your looks-I feel that if you are coming at this from a well rounded, well thought out viewpoint-go for it. I truely approve of places that require Psych. counseling, just to make sure that this isn’t an unhealthy behavior!
    I’m looking at lyposuction of my chin in the next few years. Excercise and nutrition have only fixed it so far, so, the next option is surgery. I’m doing this completely for me, not my husband, nor anyone else. I’m excited to have saved up enough to get this procedure done, and ENJOY looking in the mirror and view photographs of myself!

  4. Dr. Vivian

    Your comments show the kind of thoughtful approach we encourage in our book Face It. You seem to be asking yourself the right questions; 1) when is a cosmetic procedure safe, 2) for whom are you doing it, 3) can you afford their upkeep and 4) do you have realistic expectations? We find that these are the four questions women need to ask themselves in order to be satisfied with the results. We owe ourselves this kind of thoughtfulness as we choose from the many options available to helping us enjoy our looks as we age.

    By the way, Botox concerns me less than some of the other non-invasive cosmetic procedure, since it has been used for many decades for medicinal purposes with no obvious side effects. I’m not yet convinced that long term use of Restylin, Juvederm and others like these filler will not have some long terms impact on the elasticity of a woman’s skin, especially if begun at the age of 30 or 40? Dr. Vivian

  5. Susan

    I like Marty’s approach to cosmetic procedures. I would prefer to do small touch ups as people go down this road. It pains me to see people who have obvious “work” done and you know that has happened. They start not to look like themselves anymore…..

  6. Dr. Vivian

    Did you all see the piece in Sunday’s NY Times “A Little Too Ready For Her Close-Up?” The writer pointed out how Hollywood is beginning to change it’s attitude toward cosmetically enhanced actresses and actors. They say they are now looking now for real women, discouraging “clients from having surgery, especially older celebrities who….are losing jobs because their skin is either too taut or wollen with filler.” It’s about time! Maybe we are all ready for change. Dr. Vivian

  7. Dr. Laurie Lake

    Dr. Drs.

    As a 57 y.o.professional I find it necessary to look my very best. Looks matter in a competitive work force. I have had a total dental cosmetic make over and my “gaggle” lifted. I look fresher and more vibrant. My eyes still show my age. Luckily I have good genes and my skin remains fairly smooth and translucent. I use various facial products with sun screen. I use variety of top of the line cosmetics, and go easy on make-up. I have hair extensions and keep my hair a deep chestnut brown, recently a few bangs have added a more youthful look. I will not have anymore plastic surgery.
    I will however continue to be vain. As I age “lovely” is my look, elegance and inner confidence always keep them looking. As women being invisible is NEVER acceptable.
    I am going into retirement from patient care next year and relocating to a large city to begin a new career in health care reform. I need to be and look healthy.

    I love your book and re-read it often. It has been given as a gift to friends and patients as well.

    Thank you,

  8. Dr. Vivian


    What kind of doctor are you?

    It interesting to me that some women are able to look after their appearance without becoming too obsessed. You sound like you have found a good balance between taking care of your looks, and understanding that looks change. We encourage women to take advantage of cosmetic options that make sense to them, but to make sure they are thinking carefully about their choices. And, to know when to stop. “Lovely” and “elegant” are great words. I also like the word, “vital” and “vibrant.” So glad you loved Face It. Please spread the word. We need more women like you sharing your thoughts and experience with others.
    Dr. Vivian

  9. Beth

    It is unfortunate that those commnting all equate aging as less than beautiful or healthy for they have all missed the mark. Aging is natural and should not be considered less than attractive or unhealthy. I am in my 50’s do not color my silvering hair, have always looked after my weight with whole organic foods, moderate exercise and a positive outlook while embracing the exciting changes nature guides me through at every stage of life. As I have gotten older the best part is I have noticed a certain level of respect and appreciation for my gifts of experience, wisdom, and understaning. Beauty is afterall not just superficial. Please ladies stop chasing the past and embrace who you are now in mind, body and soul. Spending endless hours in chasing anything else is futile at best.

  10. Dr.Vivian

    Remaining fully engaged in life and connected to others makes women beautiful at any age. Dr. Vivian

  11. gmarie

    I’m 53. In a heartbeat, with the right surgeon, I’d have a face lift. When I look in the mirror I don’t look particularly “old.” BUT, when I gently lift the saggy skin on my face with my fingers, I look years younger! Make sense? My eyes look brighter, I look less tired, more energetic and just younger. I like the look.

  12. Robin

    I work in law enforcement where the emphasis is not so much what you look like but what you accomplish. Physical fitness is paramount.
    I am in my mid fifties and since using fillers think I now look like myself again. My face once again matches my physical strength and vitality. While no one will ever mistake me for a thirty something, I can compete for job advancement, etc. as an individual still in their prime because that’s who I am on the inside. I say take advantage of the medical advancements, just keep your wits about you-face it, you’re aging and one day won’t need or want filler or anything else for appearance sake.

  13. Jennifer

    I’ve ordered your book and I can’t wait to read it. Unlike some of the women here I have issues and need your help. My 40th birthday is in a few days and while I’m loving my very active life and am truly grateful for what I have and am proud of my accomplishments, I do worry about staying attractive to my husband (who’s 10 years older). I know that it’s unfashionable to admit to caring what one’s husband wants but he means so much, maybe too much, to me. He is very loyal, a good man, and says my thinning hair at the crown (genetic), frown lines, and pale skin don’t look bad to him but *I* refuse to relax about it! While I really do find myself attractive on the inside, I can’t grasp your concept of translating it to the mudslide on the outside. Thank you for listening.

  14. Dr.Vivian


    I’ll be interested to find out if you feel differently after reading Face It. Women tell me that working on the steps and reading about the experiences other women have help them develop a more accepting, kinder attitude toward their changing looks, (or as you call, the mudslide). Hopefully you will find a better way to describe the changes you see by the end of the book. More importantly, I hope you feel more beautiful as you age, recognizing what your husband already does, that your beauty goes beyond what meets the eye. Dr. Vivian

  15. Quetzalli

    Personally, I find the softer look of naturally aged skin to be more attractive than the artificial, over-pumped, and over-pulled look that comes with most procedures. There is nothing beautiful about having that permanent “surprised” or “overly alert” expression. It is also not natural to have your upper lip be just as full and as plump as the lower lip. These procedures usually don’t achieve natural looking results. I should mention that I live in California where cosmetic surgery is very common so I see it daily.

    I am 49 years old and I feel like I still have plenty of attractiveness left in me. My skin did not show signs of changing until two years ago really and I don’t think I look bad and would never consider botox or surgery regardless. I totally love my graying hair and will never use any hair dyes. Instead, I have changed my style to a more organic look that compliments my more mature look. I wear less makeup than ever and use much softer colors. My fashion choices are always age appropriate, although when at home, I mostly wear Yoga pants and cami tops. I am nowhere near ready for stretch pants but I stay away from mini skirts just the same. I want to look like an attractive 49 year old. I do not want to be that 49 year old who is trying to look like a hot 32 year old.

  16. Dr.Vivian

    You sound like one of the women for whom my book “Face It” reinforced what you already know! It’s wonderful of you to share how you deal with your changing looks. There are many who struggle a great deal more and sharing your thoughts help them. Thanks. Dr. Vivian

  17. Lenore

    When I was in my forties, I thought the idea of cosmetic surgery of any kind was ridiculous – something I’d NEVER do. Well, I’m 64 now and am considering a neck and possibly a lower facelift as well. Soooo, I now think folks should have the freedom to do whatever they are comfortable with, as I want to do the same.
    My goal is to age gracefully, not to turn back the clock. One big concern is not recognizing myself if I did the facelift. I want to continue to look like the “me” I’ve looked like for 30+ years – just older. For the most part I love my silver hair, just wish it were thicker! I also think it is so important to maintain good health and a healthy weight, to exercise, dress well, and be yourself.

  18. Christine

    I have had Dysport twice. The first time I like the way I looked, however, the second time they injected too much and I didn’t look or feel like myself. The lip area was so “lazy” that I couldn’t eat properly for weeks. I will not have it again as I truthfully believe that it affects me mentally and makes me feel a bit out of sorts as it goes through its various stages.

  19. GG

    The comments are all very enlightening. There’s a sense though that looks still reigns no matter at what age and at what cost. I live in the South of France and yes women are allowed to age with grace. The patriarchal society might send a different message to other cultures but all in all, everyone indeed that includes the male species simply appreciates women at whatever age.

    We don’t even know what or how a surgical enhanced face looks like unless we watch television or read those bling bling magazines. Cosmetic surgery is a rarity more than the norm here. When I go back to the U.S. I’m always amazed when I watch television, the women look so fake without any real expressions. The female newscasters look like cartoon characters and more evident when they are delivering bad news-their faces are frozen. It’s disconcerting to watch.

    I just read excerpts from the Face It book but will be ordering it for my kindle asap. Thank you for publishing this book as it can help women come to terms with moving onto another phase in their lives that is full of potential and possiblities jam packed full of excitement and adventures and to boot have the wisdom and experiences to fully and jofully appreciate them.

    Just remember fear is fattening (it would take too long to explain in this post). It’s true because the biochemicals involved basically hijacks your body in fight or flight mode.

    Feel fabulous at forty and fifty and zensational from sixty and beyond! Additionally, come live in France :)


  20. Anonymous

    For me women using Botox show how much unhappy they are with they life.
    This is something more and deeper scar inside their souls.
    I think people who do not accept themselves think that by changing everything, starting from visible point such as look, think will cover their real problems.
    The point is that they will never be satisfied cause always there will be younger and beautiful girls. We should be models for our own generation. If we are 60 years old we should be a model for this group of people which means to love ourselves with our wrinkles. To accept the way we are and to feel freedom and reject – vouge effect. We must live our life with dignity and not to take part who is younger,better as nobody like this exists. Life is to short to take this run for the beauty.

  21. Bogna

    I’ve heard that the best way to look younger than you are is to have many children. It work’s for me :D
    ‘t’s a big difference between looking good and appropriate for your age and trying to look 10-20-30 years younger.
    I can’t really understand what motivates women to spend lot’s of money and experience lots of suffering just to look younger. There are so many much important things in life.
    OK, there is one motivation I can comprehend – “I want to look 20 years younger, because of fear that my husband/boyfriend will exchange me for another (younger) woman”. But… If he is this sort of person, he will anyway prefer “fresh meat” to a fake one.

  22. Sally

    I am an esthetician and have been in the beauty business for over 20 years. I have witnessed how women react to aging and the extreme measures they take to preserve their youth. Years ago, I wrote a piece called “Eternal Beauty” which in summary, states that we, as women, must detach from the voice of society and define beauty by going “within.” When we develop compassion for ourselves, we discover “a beauty that cannot be bought, cpatured or lost with time.” I know how difficult it is to age and see your skin start to wrinkle. You start to become invisible and the attention you once recieved is no longer there. I do not attach my value to my aging looks. I am 54 and a first year college student studying to obtain a psychology degree. I hope to combine my “beauty experience” with psychology and help women to move through the aging process with dignity and grace. The longer we live, the more life affords the opporunity for us to grow and evolve. We can embrace maturity with joy and dignity.

  23. Richard Temtchine

    Why is American culture (in particular) so fixated on youth and therefore youthful looks? Where does this overwhelming fear of aging comes from? Why the ever growing necessity for altering what nature has in mind for one’s face or one’s body? Taking good care of oneself; eating well, exercising, sleeping and of course a good positive attitude towards life should suffice. How far will the craze for physical alterations go? Will the future see a 10 year old girl having breast implant?. Alarming isn’ t it? I think American women should be better educated about the price they have to pay for going against the grain.
    I am currently planning to address the issue at hand and would be delighted to share. Thank you.

  24. Marie

    Botox and cosmetic procedures or for that matter other modern tools to adjust our appearance are just that, tools. With all due respect I would ask a different question like. . . when or how should we use these things. I suppose I am splitting hairs but, like anything it’s not the tool, the drug or what have you but how and how much you use them. I think you have to examine what you are doing with them. Are you painting green on Fall leaves? And if so, is that your aim or are you only able to feel okay in our youth-oriented culture if you try to turn the clock back?

    I am amazed at how horrified I am at turning older. I thought I would be okay. But I am scared to death. I realize it’s because I don’t want to lose my value. So at least I have identified the fear. And where it comes from. And I think it behooves all of us to dive deep and look at our motives whether we use botox or other means to look younger (I won’t say better here because then I am committing the crime of what upsets me most, those who value youth over age and the subsequent look of youth.)

    By the way I use botox, not too much, try to just use it to look “fresher” not turn the clock back per se but then I get quickly into the place I don’t want to go. Ahhh this is hard.

  25. Ann

    I have had botox and juvederm….I will never use juvederm again, I felt so ugly and even though I was told “No one will notice…” every one did and I was very embarrassed. Botox…I have had one extreme to the next…One that froze my face , one that makes me look like a crazy person when I smile, and one that was “ok”. I haven’t done anything for over a year and feel better in my own skin. I still hate my chin and neck, but, hopefully, with diet and exercise will lose some of the fat and enjoy my “more mature” skin! Loved your article in “MORE” magazine February 2012. My question is to you…why are long, fake, catepillar eyelashes in style??? They are AWFUL!!!!! :)

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  34. Ramona

    Hi, my name is niky i have been suffering miraniges since i was 19 but have had a failed sinus surgery and have had bad headaches since i was around 11 or 12 but i have just recently had botox injections and i had the injections this past monday i have been experiencing some horrible pain in my back neck hips and my legs keep getting extremely weak and have fell out from under me a couple times but the pain in my shoulders and back is severe was wandering if anyone else has experienced anything like this i am currently on hydrocodone but it isnt helping the pain at all so i stopped taking the hydrocodone and have been taking advil and using icy hot boi freeze heat pads and its not getting any better its just moving from my back to my neck to my hips legs etc when i have it massaged it just hurts worse or the pain spreads i really cant take this much longer, My miraniges have made me lose jobs miss school family activities hanging out with friends i have to live my life around the pain im at my all time low depressed and the topamax is causing lack of appetite and i really cant afford to lose any weight im 24 and only wiegh 85 pounds my familys small but my sisters are still over a 100 pounds why cant i gain weight i used to eat constantly now i barely wanna eat anything i feel like im at the end of my wits and i just wanna quit and give up im so tired of fighting this pain take my meds wake up with another one the very next day i wanna tap i feel like i should just forfeit ive always been an outgoing and down to earth person ive never debating on leaving this world but you can only take so much of this before u feel like your fighting a battle you cant win but here i am feeling suicidle again wish i could just wake up n this would all just go away i keep telling myself things will get better someday but they dont as the days go by this pain keeps complicating it hurts and your job that you have they dont understand think ur 24 and just calling in again when you wish u had the advantage to just call in cause you didnt wanna be there docs keep telling me disability but apparently they dont me thats just not the person i wanna be not how i grew up to be pain pills make me feel no better than the drug addicts that walk around steet corners looking to copp a buzz guess ill just have to take the cards that were dealt to me and work my way thru them the best way i know how n every year on my b day wish for someone to find a cure cuz i cant stant this new me medications daily been waiting on someone to save me or erase me but im still here so this was all meant for me it will either make or break me and hopefully it does something sooner than later cuz i dont know how much longer i can take this pain pop these pills someone stop my mind from racing please someone make see things from a different perspective or comment so i dont feel as im the only one that has to go thru all of this please

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  36. Klaus

    I will be starting Botox on July 12. I have had miiergnas for 28 years but the last 10 have been the worse. They seem to be getting stronger with each passing year! I woke up at 3:00 a.m. Saturday and could hardly see because it hurt so bad. I took a pain pill and tried to go back to sleep and couldn’t. At 9:00 a.m. It was still blinding (and I wanted to go to Church) so I took the (London Protocol) 10 mg. Valium, 10 mg Compazine and 1500 mg Tylanol. It didn’t help the headache, but it did help me fall asleep in Church . I finally woke up Tuesday morning without a headache.

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