Some women don’t realize that Latisse (the first of lash thickeners to be FDA approved) was a drug originally intended for glaucoma. An unexpected side effect was that it was found to increase the growth of eyelashes. It was then approved to treat hypotrichosis (a technical term for medical hair loss) and over time has been prescribed to treat what marketers call “inadequate eyelashes.” Much the way Retin-A cream and Botox (produced by the same company that created Latisse) once served to treat medical symptoms, Latisse now routinely serves cosmetic purposes. Miracle drug? Or another slippery slope for women to slide down?

I have no trouble with the idea that there are products and procedures that enhance a woman’s natural beauty. In fact, I accept the fact that women are probably hardwired to pay attention to how we look and that we need to take care of our appearance in ways that feel appropriate for our age. Take Victoria’s Secret, for example, and the many bras they now offer for women of all sizes, shapes and ages. Are there any reasons why a woman who doesn’t mind a little push or tug, shouldn’t enjoy sexy underwear options that were unavailable to previous generations? Spanx doesn’t bother me either. Women say the squeezing and constriction are worth the shaping it provides. In fact, compared to the ungainly padded bras and girdles of yesteryear, these seem more appealing to today’s women who are interested in making efforts toward looking great at any age.

Where I have trouble, is when women ask my thoughts about unalterable cosmetic procedures: breast implants, liposuction, brow and facelifts. I am concerned when patients talk about the constant surgical work they have done to upkeep their various body parts — for example, adding “hand rejuvenation” to their list so that their aging hands match up with their youthful faces. I ask them to think carefully and thoughtfully about their expectations — the whys, the costs and general long-term consequences. And it’s perhaps here where my issue with “longer lashes movement” comes into play. In my mind, using a prescription medicine to enhance a woman’s appearance lies somewhere closer to plastic surgery than Spanx or padded bras. And yet, its casual use is taking off at a rapid rate with women of all ages.

So, maybe the better question is, where do products like Latisse lead us? Have we created a disease we now call “inadequate eyelashes” that requires a new product, that mascara cannot take care of? Have we just found another way for women to feel they fall short as they yearn for some permanent and radical solution to reach ideal beauty? And what about the potential physical and psychological consequence of repeated usage of lash thickener? When we try any new beauty fad, are we relying on the due diligence of the cosmetic industry or the FDA? We need only recall that steroids (also once used for medical purposes) were found to enhance athletic ability and then ultimately were discovered to be dangerous, both for the long-term health of the athlete and of the sports world in general. It led to a deep mistrust in who was using and who had true talent, resulting in drug testing in all of sports.

Then there’s the use of stimulants, originally prescribed for children suffering Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, now being used as the new “brain power” drug. Ritalin and Adderall, two popular ADHD medications, have been reported to enhance a student’s ability to concentrate regardless of any diagnosis. A recent 60 Minutes report by Katie Couric described the routine use of these drugs by students on college campuses. A school counselor on the program said she believed that close to 80 percent of the seniors in fraternities and sororities were popping these pills to raise test scores and achieve higher grades.

And let us not forget the Viagra and Cialis craze. Look where that’s led our husbands, lovers, fathers and brothers. Once used for symptoms of Erectile Dysfunction resulting from prostate cancer or an enlarged prostate, they are now packed as part of the overnight bag to ensure a fun evening. Men — especially midlifers — tell me that the promotion of these products in the media has provoked unexpected feelings of inadequacy.

Lastly, we need only look at the exponential rise in the use of cosmetic procedures to witness one of the most slippery of slopes men and women are finding themselves on. Plastic surgery, Botox, injectables, fillers, laser treatments — the list is long — are regularly used to alter looks, defy aging, enhance and improve. And not just by the rich and famous (although, according to the New York Times, it’s the famous who are now just beginning to see the negative consequences of surgical procedures as they find that their plastic bodies and frozen faces are a turn-off to casting agents). Enhancements made surgically are permanent and permanently problematic.

So back to those eyelashes. I suppose I do realize what bothers me. First, it’s the long-term safety factor. We, our daughters, and all those young women who are being offered these new products, are like variables in an experiment that has not yet shown proven success over time. As a psychologist, the biggest issue for me is that yet another feature, characteristic or human natural quality will come under question: what is real and what isn’t? Our mothers’ generation used to ask, “does she or doesn’t she?” Our generation of girls now asks “has she or hasn’t she?” Even boys-who-would-be-ballplayers now ask, “does he or doesn’t he?” What questions will our sons and daughters ask in the future? Will they wonder if anything about a man or a woman is real? Will we trust women to be who they appear to be? Can men really have the bodies they do without drugs? Last for four hours on their own? Does that Harvard degree mean the same thing if it was achieved while taking the SATs on Adderall?

Wouldn’t it be reassuring if women could at least love their lashes as they are? What do you think?

Health Department Cautions New Yorkers that Cosmetic or Body-Enhancement Procedures from Unlicensed Providers Can Cause Disfigurement and Death

Cosmetic surgeryThe Health Department warned New Yorkers about the dangers of going to unlicensed, non-medical providers for cosmetic surgery or body enhancement procedures. The agency has received and investigated several complaints of illegal medical practices in recent months. In February, eight women from New Jersey were infected with the bacterium Nocardia after receiving injections of unknown substances from unlicensed practitioners. In March, a Queens woman was hospitalized for a serious infection after undergoing liposuction by a salon operator without a medical license.

Learn more

YOU’LL BE COMING DOWN  by Bruce Springsteen
White roses and misty blue eyes
Red mornings, then nothin’ but gray skies
A cup of coffee, a heart shot clean through
The jacket you bought me gone daisy gray-blue
You’re smiling now but you’ll find out
They’ll use you up and spit you out now
Your head’s spinnin’ in diamonds and clouds
But pretty soon it turns out

You’ll be comin’ down now baby
You’ll be coming down
What goes around, it comes around and
You’ll be comin’ down

Easy street, a quick buck and true lies
Smiles as thin as those dusky blue skies
A silver plate of pearls my golden child
It’s all yours at least for a little while
You’ll be fine long as your pretty face holds out
Then it’s gonna get pretty cold out
An empty stream of stars shooting by
You got your hopes on high

You’ll be comin’ down now baby
You’ll be coming down
What goes around, it comes around and
You’ll be comin’ down

For a while you’ll go sparklin’ by
Just another pretty thing on high

Like a thief on a Sunday morning
It all falls apart with no warning
Your cinnamon sky’s gone candy-apple green
The crushed metal of your little flying machine

You’ll be comin’ down now baby
You’ll be coming down
What goes around, it comes around and
You’ll be comin’ down

You’ll be comin’ down now baby
You’ll be coming down
What goes around, it comes around and
You’ll be comin’ down

Copyright © 2007 Bruce Springsteen (ASCAP)

I was talking about our book “Face It” on a radio show when a fellow, Lenny, called in: “Hey, what about us guys? We feel pressure too!” He went on to say, “Do you have any idea what it’s like watching middle-aged men in the movies make it with those gorgeous nymphets?” Harrison Ford, Robert Redford and Al Pacino came to mind, bedding women half their age.

He asked me to consider those non-stop ads for Viagra, Levitra and Cialis, where smooth characters whisk their women off into the night with Astaire-like grace and Brando-like animalism. Always in the mood and ready to go at a moment’s notice. Lenny continued, “We guys don’t talk about it, but stuff like that makes us feel bad. How can we measure up?” I told him I understood. Women have been feeling that way for years.

Because of comments like Lenny’s and other men who are responding to ‘Face It,’  we will be adding posts and questions that men can relate to as well. Perhaps if we get a dialogue going between us all,  we can join together and encourage each other to enjoy our looks as we age. Perhaps another book will emerge, “Face It: What Men Really Feel as Their Looks Change!”

Men tell us what you think. Comment on our posts. Join our conversation. Dr. Vivian

Seems like no big deal, but it feels indulgent and luxurious. I am not speaking of the economic times: the bag is not terribly expensive. Maybe it’s the Jewish guilt in me but finally, I let go and admit that something so unimportant, so seemingly superficial, could make me feel so good. Years ago, I would never have chosen the color red for anything, let alone for something I typically saw as a practical accessory. My handbags and shoes were almost always black, since I saw them as easily getting ruined by wear and tear. And a clutch? Never. Bags had to hold stuff, everything I felt was essential that had to be carried from place to place; my computer, my old-fashioned date book, make-up case…the list goes on. And although I’ve always loved the smell of fine grain leather, a bag made of the soft kind just seemed impractical and extraneous.

When I thought more about it, I realized there were two emotional issues that were underlying the purchase of my first red leather bag: First, calling attention to myself at age 56 was different than years ago. Then it felt bothersome, now it feels delightful. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about my appearance when I was younger. Looking good was a necessary aspect of my professional life as long as I could remember: first as a ballet dancer and then as a professional model. But the over emphasis on beauty was complicated by all the feelings that get attached to it.

Second, I no longer feel compelled to follow a trend or fit into a fashion that others impose on me. Now, I am free to wear what I choose. How liberating! This does not mean I am going to buy multi-colored bikinis or the skinniest of jeans. I may be liberated but I have not lost my sense of taste and what is appropriate. I no longer feel the pressure of trying to look like I did but rather feel relieved and happy to look great for my age.

This new experience of looking good for my age is different. It’s relaxed. It’s less competitive. It’s about pleasure. It’s ageless.  I recognize that clothes, accessories, color and style can be fun. It has endless possibilities. Being attractive at 50 or 60 has yet to be defined by our culture, so I figure we all might as well decide for ourselves.  Let it be red bags, long skirts, short hair, high heels, flats, who knows, who cares.

Surprisingly, I look older and I am enjoying it more than I would have expected.  Dr. Vivian