Some women don’t realize that Latisse (the first of lash thickeners to be FDA approved) was a drug originally intended for glaucoma. An unexpected side effect was that it was found to increase the growth of eyelashes. It was then approved to treat hypotrichosis (a technical term for medical hair loss) and over time has been prescribed to treat what marketers call “inadequate eyelashes.” Much the way Retin-A cream and Botox (produced by the same company that created Latisse) once served to treat medical symptoms, Latisse now routinely serves cosmetic purposes. Miracle drug? Or another slippery slope for women to slide down?

I have no trouble with the idea that there are products and procedures that enhance a woman’s natural beauty. In fact, I accept the fact that women are probably hardwired to pay attention to how we look and that we need to take care of our appearance in ways that feel appropriate for our age. Take Victoria’s Secret, for example, and the many bras they now offer for women of all sizes, shapes and ages. Are there any reasons why a woman who doesn’t mind a little push or tug, shouldn’t enjoy sexy underwear options that were unavailable to previous generations? Spanx doesn’t bother me either. Women say the squeezing and constriction are worth the shaping it provides. In fact, compared to the ungainly padded bras and girdles of yesteryear, these seem more appealing to today’s women who are interested in making efforts toward looking great at any age.

Where I have trouble, is when women ask my thoughts about unalterable cosmetic procedures: breast implants, liposuction, brow and facelifts. I am concerned when patients talk about the constant surgical work they have done to upkeep their various body parts — for example, adding “hand rejuvenation” to their list so that their aging hands match up with their youthful faces. I ask them to think carefully and thoughtfully about their expectations — the whys, the costs and general long-term consequences. And it’s perhaps here where my issue with “longer lashes movement” comes into play. In my mind, using a prescription medicine to enhance a woman’s appearance lies somewhere closer to plastic surgery than Spanx or padded bras. And yet, its casual use is taking off at a rapid rate with women of all ages.

So, maybe the better question is, where do products like Latisse lead us? Have we created a disease we now call “inadequate eyelashes” that requires a new product, that mascara cannot take care of? Have we just found another way for women to feel they fall short as they yearn for some permanent and radical solution to reach ideal beauty? And what about the potential physical and psychological consequence of repeated usage of lash thickener? When we try any new beauty fad, are we relying on the due diligence of the cosmetic industry or the FDA? We need only recall that steroids (also once used for medical purposes) were found to enhance athletic ability and then ultimately were discovered to be dangerous, both for the long-term health of the athlete and of the sports world in general. It led to a deep mistrust in who was using and who had true talent, resulting in drug testing in all of sports.

Then there’s the use of stimulants, originally prescribed for children suffering Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, now being used as the new “brain power” drug. Ritalin and Adderall, two popular ADHD medications, have been reported to enhance a student’s ability to concentrate regardless of any diagnosis. A recent 60 Minutes report by Katie Couric described the routine use of these drugs by students on college campuses. A school counselor on the program said she believed that close to 80 percent of the seniors in fraternities and sororities were popping these pills to raise test scores and achieve higher grades.

And let us not forget the Viagra and Cialis craze. Look where that’s led our husbands, lovers, fathers and brothers. Once used for symptoms of Erectile Dysfunction resulting from prostate cancer or an enlarged prostate, they are now packed as part of the overnight bag to ensure a fun evening. Men — especially midlifers — tell me that the promotion of these products in the media has provoked unexpected feelings of inadequacy.

Lastly, we need only look at the exponential rise in the use of cosmetic procedures to witness one of the most slippery of slopes men and women are finding themselves on. Plastic surgery, Botox, injectables, fillers, laser treatments — the list is long — are regularly used to alter looks, defy aging, enhance and improve. And not just by the rich and famous (although, according to the New York Times, it’s the famous who are now just beginning to see the negative consequences of surgical procedures as they find that their plastic bodies and frozen faces are a turn-off to casting agents). Enhancements made surgically are permanent and permanently problematic.

So back to those eyelashes. I suppose I do realize what bothers me. First, it’s the long-term safety factor. We, our daughters, and all those young women who are being offered these new products, are like variables in an experiment that has not yet shown proven success over time. As a psychologist, the biggest issue for me is that yet another feature, characteristic or human natural quality will come under question: what is real and what isn’t? Our mothers’ generation used to ask, “does she or doesn’t she?” Our generation of girls now asks “has she or hasn’t she?” Even boys-who-would-be-ballplayers now ask, “does he or doesn’t he?” What questions will our sons and daughters ask in the future? Will they wonder if anything about a man or a woman is real? Will we trust women to be who they appear to be? Can men really have the bodies they do without drugs? Last for four hours on their own? Does that Harvard degree mean the same thing if it was achieved while taking the SATs on Adderall?

Wouldn’t it be reassuring if women could at least love their lashes as they are? What do you think?

Health Department Cautions New Yorkers that Cosmetic or Body-Enhancement Procedures from Unlicensed Providers Can Cause Disfigurement and Death

Cosmetic surgeryThe Health Department warned New Yorkers about the dangers of going to unlicensed, non-medical providers for cosmetic surgery or body enhancement procedures. The agency has received and investigated several complaints of illegal medical practices in recent months. In February, eight women from New Jersey were infected with the bacterium Nocardia after receiving injections of unknown substances from unlicensed practitioners. In March, a Queens woman was hospitalized for a serious infection after undergoing liposuction by a salon operator without a medical license.

Learn more

YOU’LL BE COMING DOWN  by Bruce Springsteen
White roses and misty blue eyes
Red mornings, then nothin’ but gray skies
A cup of coffee, a heart shot clean through
The jacket you bought me gone daisy gray-blue
You’re smiling now but you’ll find out
They’ll use you up and spit you out now
Your head’s spinnin’ in diamonds and clouds
But pretty soon it turns out

You’ll be comin’ down now baby
You’ll be coming down
What goes around, it comes around and
You’ll be comin’ down

Easy street, a quick buck and true lies
Smiles as thin as those dusky blue skies
A silver plate of pearls my golden child
It’s all yours at least for a little while
You’ll be fine long as your pretty face holds out
Then it’s gonna get pretty cold out
An empty stream of stars shooting by
You got your hopes on high

You’ll be comin’ down now baby
You’ll be coming down
What goes around, it comes around and
You’ll be comin’ down

For a while you’ll go sparklin’ by
Just another pretty thing on high

Like a thief on a Sunday morning
It all falls apart with no warning
Your cinnamon sky’s gone candy-apple green
The crushed metal of your little flying machine

You’ll be comin’ down now baby
You’ll be coming down
What goes around, it comes around and
You’ll be comin’ down

You’ll be comin’ down now baby
You’ll be coming down
What goes around, it comes around and
You’ll be comin’ down

Copyright © 2007 Bruce Springsteen (ASCAP)

–Sophia Loren

—Jane Fonda

Age is Better

I have been young,
a fresh faced sprout,
with agile legs, a muscled arm and smile
to charm the world I went through
in a rush to get a little older, sooner.

Catching my reflection while passing past
a looking glass not long ago
I discovered I was older, even old. There was
no sudden melancholy or regret, and yet
some sadness in the wonder that it happened
while I wasn’t watching,
No pause to proudly ply the autumn into winter
process.
Imagine.
Nothing changed.
I run as fast. I think a little faster and yet forget
at times what I went after there as I left here to
get it. This while crossing half a room
not half a lifetime.

So I’ve been young and I’ve been old and have
determined old is better.

Youth unfolds like coy Cleopatra from a rug
spilling all its golden wonders at the foot of age
who seems to envy everything, especially spring.
The young
pledge anything to get an audience. Delivering
sometimes, most times not, on their way before
the promissory note comes due.
Can you blame them as they hurry off, afraid
another runner may beat them to The Score ahead
leaving nothing to be scored?

Age is oft times bitter, feeling in its failing health
that wealth of life eluded it. Apologize somebody or
some thing for leaving me to find the way I never
found or could not find because it was not there
or never was.

But having seen the surge of youth, the sag of age
in breast and chest and everything, I still say spring
is overrated. Age is better.
Less is expected of the once firm chest that drags
a little lower, the robust voice reduced to murmur
speaking slower.

Age can finally say aloud what it really feels and
thinks in after dinner company or crowd.
No one blinks. If they do, no matter.
Age erases pretence; replacing it with honesty.

Age is proof you got from there to here.
Alas so many that you loved
did not complete the journey. You mourn them, yes,
and always will, but age is such a triumph over youth,
again, because you moved across the years to here.
Leaving there where it belongs
for youth to come along and re-discover.

I was talking about our book “Face It” on a radio show when a fellow, Lenny, called in: “Hey, what about us guys? We feel pressure too!” He went on to say, “Do you have any idea what it’s like watching middle-aged men in the movies make it with those gorgeous nymphets?” Harrison Ford, Robert Redford and Al Pacino came to mind, bedding women half their age.

He asked me to consider those non-stop ads for Viagra, Levitra and Cialis, where smooth characters whisk their women off into the night with Astaire-like grace and Brando-like animalism. Always in the mood and ready to go at a moment’s notice. Lenny continued, “We guys don’t talk about it, but stuff like that makes us feel bad. How can we measure up?” I told him I understood. Women have been feeling that way for years.

Because of comments like Lenny’s and other men who are responding to ‘Face It,’  we will be adding posts and questions that men can relate to as well. Perhaps if we get a dialogue going between us all,  we can join together and encourage each other to enjoy our looks as we age. Perhaps another book will emerge, “Face It: What Men Really Feel as Their Looks Change!”

Men tell us what you think. Comment on our posts. Join our conversation. Dr. Vivian